Warning. This is a very raw post. 
I feel like crap. I have been in bed since my last blog post, two days ago. I am so achy and lethargic. I finally forced myself to get up and shower, then sorted laundry. I think we have like five loads or so. I got super shaky and had to sit down. Then I got very nauseous. It sucks. However, the mental part is the worst. I’m beating myself up for not being there for everyone. I am angry that I have no energy. I feel like everyone is judging me and thinks I’m pathetic, yet I know that most everyone understands. It’s the battle inside my own head that hurts me the most. 

I hate all that this disease has stolen from me. I refuse to let it, but I know that I need to rest in order to let the meds do their work. My doctors suggesting I be admitted if I don’t stay down. I just do NOT want to be that pathetic sick girl people feel sorry for. 

It’s my inner battle that’s killing me.