A few doctors appointments ago, it was brought to my attention that I tend to project my feelings onto others. Since then, I’ve been blown away at how of often I do this, and for how long I’ve been doing it. Just to get us all on the same page, projection is a self- defense mechanism characteristerised by a person unconsciously attributing their own issues oneto someone as a form of denial. I ve always thought I was prettybuntune with my thoughts and view of myself. I was wrong. 

I know that the projection started around the time I got sick. For one thing, I feel crappy that I don’t feel good enough to do things, but I also feel judged because I can’t do what I used to do. I am sure there are those that are judging me, but I know that these aren’t my actual friends. My friends and family know me well enough to know that I do my best, to be my best. They know who I was before I got sick, and how bad I want to be that person again. (And how aware I am, that being that person again is almost impossible, but I can do my best to get close.)

I suppose my advice to myself is to let the haters hate, who cares about them. I need to love myself and as long as I’m doing that, things will be alright. I just need to remind myself to do that daily, and I need to forgive myself. Now, that’s a who other topic!